i was getting tired of looking at the last one, so i'm making a new one. i don't post much cause i never really feel like i have much to say. by that i mean i have too much to say and in mu efforts to edit it down to a few paragraphs i end up getting frozen in a vast ocean of possible topics and then end up going with nothing. it happens to me alot. especially when i'm trying to decide what to do with my time. by the time i come to a decision the free time is over x_x.

anyway, i got to go out today. i went to saint peters village with my friends and went jumping on the boulders. it would have been a lot more fun if it hadn't been raining for the last few days, because even though it was gorgeous today, many of the rocks were still wet, and when they're wet, they're more slippery then ice. so, i went down, which was insightful for me since it's been such a long time since i last fell at st. petes. i thought that i'd freeze up, but i seemed to be very aware in the moments of the fall, and ended up controlling my decent so that i landed (more or less) on my feet. that didn't stop me from getting completely soaked though, and though i did avoid any broken bones, i still got a little bloody. with my feet completely soaked it wasn't safe to stay on the boulders, so we hiked back to the car where i put my boots on and we jogged some of the trails. we found this really pretty old quarry that was now full of water a few miles up the trail, then we found a less traveled trail and came across an old bridge that was now just a big gap between us and where we were trying to go. on the other side was an abandoned car that looked like it had been there for at least 30 years. it was really fun. we ended up crossing through the stream and jogged back to the car. it was a good time.

well that was my day, and this is my new journal post! HA!

Clubs I’m in… I think:

but i don't have much else to say besides that. i feel so drained. there doesn't seem to be an end to the list of things that needs to get done. i feel so drained and alone. i miss my freinds. i can't remember the last time i had a real vacation. just work work work, nonstop. i don't think i have time for da anymore. i'll still post art if i can, but it'll be a long time before i can submit anything again. i just wish i could drop everything and start over. why on earth did i take up so much responsibility. x_x

i wish i had time to be a friend. i wish my friends had time for me...

Clubs I’m in… I think:

it's been ages since the last time i wrote something in my journal. I've been very busy with work and organizing the *Pokedex so i haven't really been able to socialize with any of my watchers. i regret that to a significant extent, but stuff needs to get done. so, on to the subject:

otakon. I'll be there. will you? i plan on bringing some killer prints with me to add to the art show. sadly, i did not get a table. i really wanted one, but it just didn't happen. I'll try again next year. that's not the big news tho. anyone like cosplay? I've already spent nearly 100 hours on my costume and I'll probably need a hundred more before I'm done. if you've seen the level of detail in my artwork then you'll drop dead when you see this cosplay. I'll will be posting pictures of it before i leave for the convention so you'll all know what to look for if you want to say hi, but until then i don't want to spoil the surprise. I'm sorry to tell you that if you had planned on participating in the hall cosplay contest, you will be losing to me.

please let me know if you're going. i very rarely get to leave my house for anything other than work and i've almost never gotten the opportunity to meet fellow deviants. last year was the first time i had ever been to otakon and it was life changing. it's what i'm made for, and i want you all to see my cosplay when it's finished. but more important than any of that is my yearning to make new friends. my best friend in the whole world lives several thousand miles away now, and my next best friend wants to leave for alaska soon, which won't change much since i don't ever see him anyway. i hope to meet lots of new people at this event and i hope you'll be one of them! ^_^

since i'm updating for the first time in ages i might as well add a few notes on what life has been like the last few months. in a word, exciting. i work at wawa. for the large percent of you who don't know what that is, it's a chain if convenience stores local to eastern PA. every few months we have a promotion for certain prodects, and this time i made my own adds as a gift for my GM who's an outstanding manager. (best job i've ever had btw) now it seems like i might be picked up by their advertising department since my add has been working it's way up the corporate ladder and everyone has been really impressed! i'm really happy with how well my work was recieved. i hadn't expected it, but i blew their ads out of the water. most of the customers favor my posters over the ones made by the company. it's been really neat! in addition to all of that, i'm still an excellent worker, so everyone has been really kind to me and impressed by my work. i get complimented on a daily basis, which for a leo is like being handed a 20 dollar bill. compliments are my oxygen. i need them to live.

i'm also thinking about taking a welding course after the convention. i can't do it before cause i have my cosplay to work on, plus there's a few more pokedex drawings i want to finish so i can take them with me, but once i'm certified, i'll be able to start working on a proper prototype for my moped which may result in some interesting opportunities should my designs prove as effective as i'd like them to be!

that's it for me. sorry for making you all read so much. i hope you're all doing well. please let me know! ^_^

Clubs I’m in… I think:

ok, so my latest deviation: NO FAV STAMP just spent a solid 8 hours on the front page. my inbox is flooded with messages and comments, and while i'm greatful for the attention i can't help but feel somewhat defeated. the no fav stamp is somethng that took me about five minutes in ms paint, and an additional one minute to add text in photoshop. it's something designed to get a message across, and not something i really consider very artistic. there are deviations in my gallery that i spent 90+ hours on, and in four months they haven't accumulated the views or favs received by this stupid sign. it's infuriating to see so much effort gone to waste when something so stupid, something i didn't even care about, made it to the front page. x_x

the sense that there's something horribly wrong with all of this just keeps growing deeper, and i'm not sure if there's anything i'll be able to do about it!

Clubs I’m in… I think:

for those of you who are watchers you may have seen my latest deviation [link] it's an entry for the *LegoFanClub's contest. i spent every free second i got between work and drawing to put together a "working" model of a gundam themed robot. (i put working in brackest cause it can't come off it's stand without falling over) i figured it'd be a long time before i got another chance since this contest was a free for all. when i got home today, this message was in my inbox as a reply to my deviation:

"good try but its too big and bluckly i my self have built a few gundams in the pass and know what you went thought
try buying some of the non lego kits that have better joint parts that what i had to do
im on version 3 and im builting it from the skeleton up"

ok, so for one, he's barely literate. there's not even a hint of proper punctuation, every sentence dripping with rank attempts at grammar, and a few key words are spelled horribly wrong. this is a typical pet peeve of mine. it irritates me when people can't put forth even the slightest effort to make clear statements in their comments. at the heart of the issue: some guy i don't even know comes along and tells me that i have failed, and he "knows" this because he's better than me, AND HE "KNOWS" THIS BECAUSE HE'S AN ARROGANT !@#$%^&*()))(*&^&*($%!!!!!!1!!1!

"too big and bulky" ??????????? i'm fairly certain that giant robots are, by definition, pretty F***ing BIG and pretty F***ing BULKY!!!! and to make things worse, he has the nerve to promote himself on my page. his only word of advise, the one thing that could possibly make this a critique and not the most asinine comment i've ever received, was that i should get some non lego parts for the joints, which implies that he didn't even read the description, very clearly stating that this was for a LEGO CONTEST!!!! how the F*** can you justify entering a lego contest with non legos. it's completely backwards.

i have no idea why i am so bothered by this, but for some reason, just to think that anyone could be so ignorant as to believe that this comment was anything but an assertion of ones own ego, and that they could assume it's acceptable.... i don't know.... it just drives me mad! to have worked so hard on something and have someone come over and tell you that they could do better... AND NOTHING ELSE!!! i can't understand how anyone can live with being so inconceivably rude. for some reason it's so much easier to ignore outright assholes. but this. it's like trying to hide a slap to the face... if it was someone coming up to me and saying "i'm better than you" i could just ignore it, but this is saying the same thing with subtlety, and it's that subtlety, that half-ass attempt at pretending you're not a COMPLETE ASS... it's just dishonest, on top of everything you are and aren't. i can't stand that!

Clubs I’m in… I think: